Living child-free by choice
Some people may choose to have many children, while others decide to have only one or even none at all! Everybody makes their own decision, yet those who don't want kids still face stigma. Let's dig a little deeper into this.
Even my mother makes me feel guilty for not wanting children.
Living child free – the stigma
Everyone’s reasons for not wanting children are different
I assumed I’d want children when I reached my thirties – everyone speaks of a ‘biological clock’, but that never felt ‘real’ to me.
A life without children is such a big life decision that it would be impossible to list all the reasons behind it. There doesn't even need to be a specific reason – it's your life, after all! What's important is that you feel it's the right choice for you.
Talking to others about not wanting children
Talking about not having children is a topic that can come up a lot; be it on a date, lunch with friends or at family gatherings. And just because you may have decided for yourself that you don’t want kids, this doesn’t always mean that people won’t try and convince you otherwise. Even though it may be difficult to be assertive and firm (especially with those closest to you), it’s important that you try your best to set boundaries about asking questions around this topic. This will also help you to not feel influenced or affected by the opinions of others.
So if you do feel like people are pushing you to have children or if you are unsure how to respond to questions about your choice, then here are a few helpful tips:
- Remind them that it’s a personal question and that it can be quite hurtful, especially for people who are privately struggling to conceive or who have gone through miscarriage.
- Say that you would rather not talk about it – after all, it’s a private matter and you don’t have to share it if you don’t feel comfortable.
- Ask to move the conversation on or even propose a new topic yourself.
Ultimately, some people can’t wait to have kids, while others know it’s definitely not for them. And either choice is okay! Not wanting children doesn’t mean you’re strange or that something’s wrong with you; your life belongs to you and you have every right to take the decisions that best suit you.
To continue exploring V-Zone experiences, check out our pages on how your body changes during pregnancy and what does an abortion actually mean.
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