Is My Vulva Good Enough?

So why do some women feel bad about their vulva? In 2016 there was a 45% year-on-year increase in labiaplasty operations (cosmetic surgery on the labia).¹

 

By looking at vulvas in a more real way, we want every woman to see that they are normal, and perfect.

Press pause during a porn film and you’d think that all mons pubis (the cushiony bit above your pubic bone) should be almost flat; that outer lips should be big enough to hide the inner lips (but not too fleshy); that the whole of the genital area should be hairless, smooth and pleasantly pink. But if we start to think about vulvas in the real world, very few (if any) are like that. 

 

If people have problems changing their perception of ‘perfection’ to include difference and imperfection, that’s not surprising. Unless you’re a gynecologist or regularly hang out on nudist beaches, chances are you don’t face a variety of vaginas on a daily basis. Add the fact that female genitalia is not up there on the list of hot dinner-party topics and you’ve got a problem - the fact that many women deal with vagina anxiety on their own.  

 

Bad names (fishy, flappy, loose, for example) create shame, and women bear the brunt of this by feeling low, rather than good, about the wondrous place between their legs. Self-love comes with acceptance, so it’s time we all re-examined the meaning of ‘perfect’ and ‘normal’ by looking at what’s real.

You, of course. Because it’s yours and you’ll only ever have one, so it’s time to show it some love. Putting a mirror between your legs might not sound like the best use of a spare ten minutes, but it’s the easiest way of getting familiar with all your bits. 

 

Are your inner lips longer than your outer ones? Does your clitoris ‘button’ on the upper part of your vulva go harder when you touch it? Is the skin inside your inner lips sticky or slick? 

 

There’s no right or wrong when it comes to how you should look or feel. Getting to know your normal self takes time, but it’s a great way of growing more confident in your own skin. Once you can confidently judge that you’re alright down there, you’ll notice when something changes, and whether this is OK or needs checking out by the doctor. 

Ten years ago, Jamie McCartney created the Great Wall of Vagina out of the casts of 400 different women’s labia. He was concerned about the rise in labiaplasty, and wanted to do something positive in response: to show women that when it comes to vulvas, each one is unique, and each one is amazing. 

 

Similarly, Hilde Atalanta started up @the.vulva.gallery on Instagram to highlight the beauty in difference. Her paintings and sketches of vulvas (created from photos that women send in to her) are a celebration of the vulva in all of its forms.

Believe it or not, many women worry about this. Repeat after us, there’s no such thing as a typical vagina smell, because there’s no such thing as a typical vagina. 

 

It seems that women’s anxiety about the way they smell can affect all sorts of things, from asking for what they want in bed (some admit to not allowing a guy or girl to go down on them because they think they smell too bad) to missing out on crucial sexual health checkups, because they’re worried the doctor will be repulsed by the smell.

 

Remember, doctors have been trained to look inside vaginas and have felt, smelled and seen everything on the spectrum. Your health is your wealth, so if you think something’s wrong, visit the doctor, and if you’ve got a smear appointment, show up. 

Of course, it doesn’t take a lover to bring you down. Your inner voice can be your worst critic, and while the odd moment of self-doubt is normal, you should try to talk out your insecurities with a good friend so you avoid beating yourself up.  

We want all women to feel confident to choose only what’s right for them. To never feel under pressure to change or conform simply to please someone else. To talk about vaginas and vulvas in the same way they talk about more visible parts of their body – in a healthy, unapologetic, open way. 

 

Discovering your ‘normal’ is what matters most. Then you, rather than anyone else, can be the judge of how you look, smell, function and feel.

 

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